Friday, March 20, 2009

Rider Swears Aloud After Flatting

Several members of the Norfolk, VA-based Velo Bluto club were exposed to a string of profanity delivered by one of their own veteran members on last Saturday’s club ride.

Dave Mullen unleashed a barrage of curse words when the rear tire on his TREK Madone 5.2 punctured at approximately 8:07 am Saturday, shortly after rolling away from Minsky’s Bakery at 83rd and Wabash.

Witnesses were stunned. “I don’t know where this came from,” said Don “Fletch” Fletcher. “First, I heard the tell-tale ‘phsssh’ of someone flatting, and the next thing I know, Dave is yelling ‘Sh*t! Goddammit!! You’ve got to be f*cking kidding me!!’ Wait… You’re not going to print that are you?”

Cori Joplin was also within earshot of the tirade.

“We're all shocked. Some of us are talking intervention. Dave is beating himself up pretty hard over his behavior though, so maybe we’ll give him some time to see if he self-corrects. But we’re ready to step in if we feel he’s in danger of slipping again.”

The normally mild-mannered Mullen was at a loss for an explanation.

“I am embarrassed and ashamed…I don’t know why I said such vulgar, hurtful things.” Mullen continued, “I don’t like making excuses, but I guess it was maybe a combination of things.

Since I’d flatted last weekend too, it was a new tube. Plus, we had just started rolling – we weren’t even up to the first goddam light yet—and sonofabitch, it just had to be the rear tire, didn’t it?!? All because some douchebag broke a beer bottle in the street. I just f*cking lost it!”

No charges were filed in the incident, however “He’s a changed person,” continued Joplin. “We’re all looking at Dave a little differently now that we know what he’s capable of. I hope that in time, we can all heal and move past this ugliness.”

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