Saturday, March 28, 2009

Rider Returns from Saturday Ride Weighing More than When He Left

“I just don’t understand it,” exclaims Ron Barlow in frustration. “I started riding to lose weight, but I’m just getting fatter.”

The consistent cycling club rider has been frustrated in recent months by his lack of fitness and surprising weight gain, despite his dedication to a strict exercise regimen.

“Every Saturday morning, we meet at Cinnamon Productions and I load up one of their gooey rolls for energy. After an hour or so of riding, we’ll usually stop at the Donut Star in Newport to refuel. Then, before we get to Laguna, I gotta get a date shake at the Sugar Shack or I’ll have withdrawals,” continues Barlow. “It’s a (Seal Beach Cycling) Club tradition.”

“At the end of the ride, there’s nothing better than an Alamo Burrito at Taco Surf. It’s huge. You’ve gotta wash that sucker down with a couple of Pacificos. By the time I get home, I’m five pounds heavier than when I left – even though I’ve burned, I dunno, like, a zillion calories.”

Despite his commitment to weekend club rides, Barlow laments, “It’s just bizarre. I’m growing increasingly concerned that there’s something bigger going on.”

The rider is turning to professional evaluation of his condition. “I’ve started working with a sports nutritionist and physiologist,” Barlow explains. “On Tuesday, I’m going in for a full BMI (Body Mass Index) work up – blood analysis, and the whole astronaut water tank immersion thing.”

“I’m a little freaked out over what the testing might show – like maybe I’ve got some weird muscle syndrome or a glandular condition,” continues Barlow. “But I’m trying not to think about it and just live my life.”

Asked what he thinks could be the cause, an exasperated Barlow exclaims, “I wish I knew. It might be the five or six energy gel packs I need on the ride in order to maintain the club’s twelve to fourteen mile-per-hour average pace. Who knows what’s in those damn things, but they’re pretty tasty.”

Asked if he’s going to keep riding, “For sure,” says Barlow. “I’m already looking forward to next Saturday’s ride and another big burrito afterwards. Those things are friggin’ awesome!

1 comment:

  1. Gary - I think this is me. I have sworn off the cinnamon crunch bagels.


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